


The Continuing Adventures of Coffee Man!

by clgfanfic



Series: The Adventures of Coffee Man [2]
Category: War of the Worlds (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-12-03 03:50:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clgfanfic/pseuds/clgfanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just like the title says!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Continuing Adventures of Coffee Man!

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in the zine Green Floating Weirdness #13 under the pen name Jerkey Treat.

_"Get a grip, Doc.  We're not lost yet."_

 

          Ironhorse and Harrison hurried into the basement lab, anxiety leaving them slightly out of breath.

          "Norton, have you found anything?" the colonel asked, wringing his hands.

          "This is a disaster," Harrison moaned.  "A complete and utter disaster.  We're all doomed…"

          "Not yet, we're not," the handsome black man replied, typing faster than the Cray could calculate.  He backed off a little, giving the machine a few precious seconds to catch up.  "Give me a few more seconds and I'll— Yes!  I have it!"

          The two men crowded nervously over the hacker's shoulder.

          "I _knew_ all this attention would eventually go to that man's head," Norton grumbled under his breath.  "Jerk."

          "Who?" Ironhorse questioned.  "Aliens?"

          "Worse," Drake stated flatly.  "It's Mr. Taster's Choice."

          "From the commercial?" Harrison clarified, his eyes rounding in horror.

          "He's an alien?" Ironhorse gasped.

          " _No_ ," Norton repeated, remembering that the colonel could be a little single-minded at times.  "But he thinks he can take over the planet by controlling the international coffee bean market."

          "Oh, my God," Harrison breathed dramatically.  "I _knew_ it!  We are doomed!"

          "Get a grip, Doc," Norton said.  "We're not lost yet.  He hasn't come up against Norton Drake yet."

          "What's your plan, Mr. Drake?" the colonel asked, his fingers inching toward the M-9 resting in his holster.  "Do we take this Mr. Choice out?"

          "Not so fast, Colonel Quickdraw," Norton said.  "I need to do a little more research before we go off armed and dangerous."

          "Whatever you say, Mr. Drake," Ironhorse stated.  "I take it you think this is a job for…"  He drew himself up into attention.  "Coffee Man?"

          Norton nodded somberly.

          Harrison gripped Norton's shoulder and squeezed, his expression adoring.  "Thank you, Norton.  You're a true friend.  A hero.  A—"

          "You're welcome, Doc.  Now, why don't you two go so I can get ready."

          "Be careful, Norton," Ironhorse said.

          "Always, Colonel."

          The pair left and Norton pressed his secret button and rolled back from the computer workstation.  Suzanne stepped out of her lab, one arm wrapped protectively around her daughter's shoulders.  A light breeze blew the hair off their hopeful faces and soft filtered light created a mild halo effect around their faces.

          "Be careful, Norton," Debi told him.

          "Don't worry, Debi," he assured the trepidant child.  "I'll be just fine."  He unbuttoned his mild-mannered pink cotton shirt, revealing the neon blue suit underneath.  A large java-brown 'CM' sat in a cream-colored field shaped like a travel mug.  Sugar-white racing stripes sprang from the design, disappearing over his shoulders.

          Suzanne broke away from her daughter long enough to take Norton's bright red cape off its honored hook, slipping it around the hacker's neck.  She attached the spoon clasp to secure it in place, then kissed his cheek.  "My hero," she sighed.

          He reached up, cupping her chin in his hand, then drew her down for another, more intimate kiss.  She straightened, her eyes slightly glazed and sighed.  "Wow," she breathed.  "Double wow…"

          "Stand back, Suzanne, it's time for me to go," he stated.

          She moved back to the doorway of her lab and hugged Debi close to her side.  Norton pressed his escape button, and a section of the far wall retracted, revealing the short runway that ran alongside the quiet pond.  He patted the smooth chrome of Gertrude's handles.  It was time to ruffle that swan's feathers.

          He pressed the hidden button that turned the ordinary voice-activated dragster into…  Distant trumpets blared and a disembodied voice announced:  "Super Chair!"

          Dutifully securing his seatbelt, Norton gripped the joystick and ordered, "Gertrude, launch!"

          The warp thrusters engaged, and Gertrude roared down the runway and climbed into the sky, leaving behind a collection of white feathers scattered across the surface of the water.  The swan watched him go, honking angrily.

          Sitting back comfortably, Norton decided he needed some help for this one.  Besides, it was time…

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          Norton swooped down, hovered, then landed in the small, almost empty Starbuck's parking lot.  The hour was early, and with the recent skyrocketing cost of coffee, only three hardcore caffeine consumers sat huddled over their cups in the small establishment.  They looked up as he entered, their faces hopeful.

          "Coffee Man, you must help us," one of the pathetic patrons petitioned.  "You are our last and only hope."

          "The cost of coffee has grown so high," another lamented.  "I we can only afford a single cup of the divine elixir per day.  How can we be expected to survive on that?"

          "Why has this happened to us, Coffee Man?" the third wailed.

          "Be strong," Norton told the three whiners.  "You've got to perk up and stop being such a bunch of drips.  I'm sure that if you stop and mentally grind up the situation you can find ways to make do for a few more days.  I'll have the situation fixed up by then."

          The three sighed in unison.  "All right, Coffee Man," they chorused, standing.  "We will remain strong.  There is no room for the weak."

          Norton watched the threesome go, the door swinging closed and cutting off their final comment.  "To coffee, immortal."

          A short but perky young woman stepped out from behind the counter.  "That was great, Coffee Man, I've been listening to them whine and moan about the rising cost and falling selections of coffee beans all morning."

          Norton decided to forego small talk.  "I have a lead on the ones responsible for this crisis," he announced.

          The young woman's eyes grew round with adoration.  "I knew you would, Coffee Man!  You're the best!"

          "It's that dastardly Mr. Taster's Choice."

          The young woman sucked in a sharp gasp, one hand coming up to clutch at her chest above her heart.  "No," she breathed softly, "not… _him_."

          Norton nodded seriously.  "Yes, _him_."  He looked directly into the girl's eyes.  "I need your help on this one, Java Girl.  Are you with me?"

          She squared her shoulders, her sprightly brunette hair wagging with determination.  Her chin lifted as she replied.  "I'm with you, Coffee Man.  To the last drop."

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          Norton piloted Gertrude through the clear blue sky.  Below him the city sprawled out, a tangled jungle of steel and glass.  And somewhere down there _he_ waited for them.  Him and that Bimbo he'd suckered.  And now _he_ was her kid, too.  Coffee Man would just have to prevail, like always.

          Holding onto the wheelchair's handles, Java Girl sailed along behind him.  Her matching neon blue costume glistened as brightly as her smile in the sun.  Her bright red cape would have snapped smartly in the wind if it wasn't for the large Rottweiler who held the hem in his ample jaws.  His stubby tail ruddered to keep him flying along behind her.

          "We're almost there," Norton called back.

          Gertrude sputtered slightly.

          "Java Girl, switch us over to the auxiliary tanks."

          "Roger, Coffee Man," she called back, shifting her thumb to press the red button.  She looked over her shoulder.  "Hang on, Joe," Java Girl commanded her faithful canine.  "We're almost there."

          "Ruh-ruh-ruh-ar-ar-ar," the dog grumbled through clenched canines, and shook his massive head.

          "What'd he say?" Coffee Man asked.

          "He said yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever," she translated.

          Gertrude sputtered again and they dropped in altitude.

          "Did you switch to the auxiliary tanks?"

          "Yes," Java Girl said, pressing the red button (which was now green) again.  "We're definitely on the auxiliary tanks, Coffee Man."

          Norton's brow furrowed.  "Java Girl, what did you put in the auxiliary tanks?"

          "Well, you looked a little stressed out, so I used the decaf."

          " _Decaf!?_ "

          "Moca Java decaf."

          Gertrude coughed, bucked, sputtered, then whined pathetically.  They spiraled into a descent.

          "Hang on!" Coffee Man yelled.  "We're goin' down!"

          "Down?!" Java Girl echoed.

          "Orugh ru," Joe wailed through more tightly clenched jaws.

          "What'd he say?" Norton asked.

          "He said 'oh boy.'"

          Gertrude sighed, her turbos cutting out.

          "Here we go!" Norton yelled.

          "Ahhhhhh!!!!!!" Java Girl screamed…

 

 

Will the dauntless trio survive?

 

Will they find Mr. Taster's Choice in time to stop

a global disaster?

 

Will the Advocates get their necessary caffeine fix?

 

Tune in next story for the freshly brewed answers!


End file.
